perspective

It is a funny thing, time and perspective. I have grown to obesses over it over the years, in fact just a little over ten years ago, I started this blog and with such naiveity, I honestly thought this is who I would be, in my little space of the internet, sharing my incessantly pointless yet undeniably important views on all things life, news, pop culture. I look back with a refreshed perspective at 26 and to be honest I am not sure if 16 year old me would think I am crazy or cool. I am gonna go with cool. For now anyway, tap tap tapping away at the macbook air that I just paid off after two years, you know so I can look like a cool artsy writer gal instead of the Lenovo thinkpad corporate girl that I really am.

On the outside looking in, I am relatively young and accomplishing things alhamdulilah. I bagged the husband, a masters, am travelling about Europe, living in Dublin but what you do not see and as a friend called, is that the cost of the gift of living overseas is the time lost with loved ones. I whine that my mum has not rung me in four days, that my nieces and nephews are growing and achieveing milestones while I wave at them through a tiny screen, buying them gifts so they do not forget I exist. It hurts. Seeing my beautiful city become derelict because of storms and corruption, at this point I think the rain is conspiring with our politicians. I have to re-ivent myself in every space I enter and work so much harder to not be the token brown girl but at the same be tokenised because I bring a certain worth and value (ie, I meet your diversity quota and you can say you are tolerant because you have a Muslim friend).

Then we have a raging what shall we call it, war? no, conflict, no? a genocide, that is being live streamed and denied at the same time and my eyes widen, because I am alive and fed and in need of nothing but full of wants and desires beyond staying alive and my perspective of being sad and far from family is completely shattered when you have six year olds lying for hours amongst the corpses of her relatives. Yet, another perspective is that we are living in the most peaceful time in human history, or is it because the only history we document that written by the victors. Family trees wiped off maps and records and still my heart pangs not knowing any names further than my grandparents, disconnected from the giant sub-continent but you know carrying not DNA but RSA wherever I am in the world, and holidng steadfast to the belief that surely everyone is a condrum and we can just blame the British for it all. 

So what was I saying again oh yeah perspective is funny and blurred and miraculously paradoxial because no two can be the same even seconds apart as we process vast amounts of information in our heads before we can formulate a new thought, a different thought. So my point is well nothing besides go ahead and cast your stones at the glass houses we all live in, shatter them, shatter the notion of perception and being perceived because it all depends on the angle at which you look at it and you have the absolute right to keep changing your perspective.